Some people say life changes after marriage. Does it really change? How far does marriage change the married couple?
Well, does marriage change me?
I met my husband when I enjoyed being a single person at that moment. I enjoyed my works, I made new friends, I joined a new working environment, I joined communities, I saved money, I bought things I always wanted to, I traveled, and I tried to work on “my relationship” with Allah. I was focusing on…being me. Sstt… I wouldn’t lie if there had been “galau” moment of myself being pressured by the societies to get married (read the post here).
Then, I met him (read the complete story here). Few months after, we got married. My life had been dramatically transformed in less than 6 months. From holiday-or-getaway weekends to planning-the-marriage weekends and introducing myself to his family and friends. From saving money for traveling to spending it for a wedding.
and now, as a married woman to Mr. AI:
- I think twice in spending my money.
- I do not impulsively buy flight tickets for a weekend getaway.
- I tell my husband about my agenda and whereabouts.
- I ask permissions and his idea when I want to make a decision or plan something.
- I am not always available to join night gathering without my husband nor his permission.
- When we were in Indonesia, I went home before 6 PM to cook dinner because he arrived home around 7 PM.
- I plan my weekly groceries for two.
- I watch Game of Thrones.
- I watch movies at cinema more often than before (For me, an IDR 35k movie ticket is worth a scrumptious tuna sandwich at Mom’s Bakery).
Those lists are the opposite of the single version of myself. While the items on the list might sound repressive, surprisingly I feel the opposite way. I don’t enjoy solo traveling as much as I did because what I did was calling him or waiting for his calls. I used to plan my weekends with agendas outside the house, but now I enjoy having a cozy weekend at home–with him.
For me, marriage means compromising things. Having two different personalities living together is for sure a challenge for us. My husband and I have been living for more than 20 years within the way and principles our respective parents taught us to. Not every day of ours is a lovey-dovey one because some days are with arguments. We agree on one thing: if one is having a bad mood, the other one should be calm and each is allowed to be in a bad mood until the next praying call. It is easier said than done, but trust me, it works for us!
To sum up, I have a cuddling, discussion, cooking (and much more) partner for…FOREVER, haha! I can’t be more grateful that Allah made us meet at the right moment in the right place.