My Youth Crushes, a Contemplation on “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”

 Taken from Image courtesy of Netflix. 

Who has watched Netflix’s movie adaptation from a best-selling novel with the same title, “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”?

Who did get the euphoria after watching it?

Who did go back in time to teenage life and its sweet time of having a crush on boy(s)?

Well, I did. This might sound silly to read a teenage-crush post written by a mama of one. But honestly speaking, “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” movie tickled me to remember my teenage life with its (bitter)sweet of having crush(es). Based on the Apple dictionary, “crush” as a noun, informally means a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable.

I did have crush(es), I put the plural “es” to emphasize that I had a crush on more than one boys (haha!). Only that I wasn’t Lara Jean (LJ) who wrote romantic poetry letters to All the Boys She’s Loved Before. I need to remove the “Love” word as I didn’t love my crushes (because my husband is the only man I love), so let’s change it to “admire”.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Admired Before, now that sounds better.

Like what Apple Dictionary said, crush is directed towards someone unattainable. My husband wasn’t on the list, of course. Because he is not unattainable and I do not only admire him, but also add the L word towards him. Those boys on my list were part of my teenage life history. I might have thanked them for adding stories on my life, or at least, interesting topics to talked gossiped about with my girlfriends. Who doesn’t love talking about boys, anyway?

I remembered having my first crush during elementary school. When most of my girlfriends had a crush, I hadn’t had one. Hereinafter, I chose a random boy in my class (oh, sorry boy, you got a jackpot!) and since I had been known as being over-talkative, I told everyone these words of hey, you know what? I guess I like this boy. Don’t tell anyone, please, because it is a secret. When I said everyone, this really meant EVERYONE AT SCHOOL OH YEA! I know I made my own suicide calls. 

On the contrary, I didn’t have any crush during junior high school because I attended an all-girl boarding school, where dating wasn’t allowed. Even meeting boys (they stayed in the other wing of the boarding school) counted as an illegal act. My adolescent naughtiness (in Indonesian: kenakalan remaja) didn’t reach a crush/dating stage because I simply wasn’t interested in having one. 

Then, my boarding-school life continues to another boarding school. This time was near the Indonesian capital and 55-mins flight-away from home. My crush was not a random pick this time. The boy was known for being fun and creative. But… I told everyone the same words I told everyone during elementary school. Yes, (almost) EVERYONE AT SCHOOL OH YEA! YES BABY YES! However, I did enjoy my adolescent during high school by knowing beauty products (I tried some products of my friends and ended up getting pimples), living a super fun boarding-school life, and breaking the rules without my parents’ acknowledgment (yeah!).

In “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”, the story started when LJ’s letters reached her crushes’ hand. The person who mailed those letter thought LJ was kind of lonely on Saturday Night and the person wanted LJ to find her own happy ending. So here we have the loneliness issue. When I was single and my closest girlfriends were dating someone, I did feel lonely at some moment. A friend once told me, “single flocks with other singles.” What she said wasn’t negative, though, but a very positive one. I mingled with new circumstances of friends, was happy and more imaginative than ever. Being imaginative in my case was: being a drama queen by correlating lyrics on some love songs (mostly, those heart-breaking songs) to my loooove life. Honestly said, THOSE WERE FUN!

LJ’s story wasn’t ended on one movie tho. Because the gossip said that there will be a sequel and as you might have known, the novel has two following novels. I haven’t read the novels so I don’t know whether she will end up with that boy or not, but, in my case: the boys I mentioned here were all in the past (you may notice that I wrote in past tense). Adolescent was part of growing up, anyway. 

I have found a man whom I chose to marry with (and now a tiny baby has come into our life), yet, I have new crushes. Only that now is more interesting to talk about my crushes to my husband. YES! I talked to him about my current crushes, like hey babe, I couldn’t stop googling about Harry Styles. Don’t you think he is handsome? Coz I think he is hawt and handsome. It was fun talking about them to him because he always responded with a what-the-heck-did-my-wife-talked-about face (raising eyebrows and I-dont-care expression).

So, what are your stories?



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